


Santa Baby

by chromyrose



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Breast Fucking, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Strip Tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 08:56:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chromyrose/pseuds/chromyrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The cookies are frosted, the tree is decorated, and even Becquerel has little jingle bells attached to the tag on his seasonal striped collar; it must be Christmas Eve in the Strider-Harley home. Dave is curled up on the couch in the sweater Lalonde sent him, itchy wool with working Christmas lights on a Kringlefucker tree, his body snuggled around his girlfriend’s. <i>Home Alone 2</i> is on television, and little Macaulay Culkin is setting up a giant clown doll in the shower of his New York City hotel room, just like he is every year, when Jade turns her head and looks up at Dave with a sassy little smile. </p>
<p>“I’m not wearing anything under my clothes.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Santa Baby

**Author's Note:**

> I did not specify their ages or relationship in this fic; I imagine them to be early 20s or late teens, still unmarried, but you can interpret this any way you wish to. 
> 
> This is a holiday gift for my friend Niki, who asked for "Dave/Jade please I know this like an over used prompt but: Jade is Dave’s Christmas present ;)"

The cookies are frosted, the tree is decorated, and even Becquerel has little jingle bells attached to the tag on his seasonal striped collar; it must be Christmas Eve in the Strider-Harley home. Dave is curled up on the couch in the sweater Lalonde sent him, itchy wool with working Christmas lights on a Kringlefucker tree, his body snuggled around his girlfriend’s. _Home Alone 2_ is on television, and little Macaulay Culkin is setting up a giant clown doll in the shower of his New York City hotel room, just like he is every year, when Jade turns her head and looks up at Dave with a sassy little smile. 

“I’m not wearing anything under my clothes.”

Dave blinks from behind his shades and gives her body a quick once-over; she’s got one of her long skirts on, with a pair of Christmas knee socks beneath that, and her Lalonde-custom made sweater with pom-poms and a dog with reindeer antlers. She’s biting on her lip in the manner that Dave honestly doesn’t have the heart to tell her isn’t nearly as sultry as she thinks, because damn if it isn’t adorable. 

“Well,” he starts slowly, making a show of tilting his head. “Most people don’t wear anything _under_ their clothes.”

Jade smacks his thigh and pouts adorably. “You know what I mean, Dave! I’m not wearing a bra, or panties, or anything!”

She looks terribly pleased with herself, and she’s even speaking more quickly than usual; now that he takes the time to think about it, Dave wonders if maybe she hasn’t made herself aroused musing on her own half-nudity. He runs his hand up along her ribcage, and true enough the usual bumps of her bra are gone. It’s not really anything new for Jade; she goes all summer without undergarments as much as she can help it, but Dave also knows that growing up on a tropical paradise has left Jade _terrible ___at dealing with the winter frost.

He flicks his thumb idly over one of her nipples, and finds it was already fairly hard, masked by the plush, thick wool of her sweater. Jade shudders and bites on her lip. 

“This wool is so itchy, it’s been stimulating me for hours,” she explains, nuzzling the top of her head against his pectorals. “And you didn’t even notice! Even though I purposely chose a skirt with a slit in the side, and kept bending over to check on the cookies!” 

“Sorry, babe,” he apologizes smoothly, his hand sliding down to stroke her calf through said slit. “A man’s entire dignity relies on him making the best damn gingerbread for Santa, you know. I’ve gotta win the big guy over so he gives me a better gift than Egbert this year.” 

Jade laughs, “You’ll never bake better cookies than John, Dave. He grew up making them with his dad _every single year_ , but your Bro only put out pizza!” 

“It was ironic,” Dave shrugs. “Forget Egbert, forget the cookies. I’m paying attention now. Are you seriously not wearing panties, Harley?” 

“See for yourself,” she chirps brightly, standing up on the floor in front of him (and, thankfully, blocking the tv from view; he’s trying to get in the mood and little blond boys just don’t do it for him _thank you very much_ ). She grabs the front of her skirt and pinches the fabric to pull it up just slightly, then holds it out for him to take. Dave complies, grabbing the hem of the skirt and lifting it up in a single swift motion, raising it up above her waist. Jade yelps a bit, obviously having underestimated his speed, and then shimmies awkwardly as her pussy is on full-frontal display. 

Dave whistles, “You naughty girl, you’ve been like this all day, huh?” 

“Uh huh,” she admits sheepishly, a soft puff of breath whistling as she exhales through her teeth. He’s got his hand between her legs, just barely so, his fingers being tickled by the hairs she doesn’t like shaving away as he relishes in her warmth, just shy of her clitoris. “I’m really bad, Dave. Really naughty.” 

“Do you know what naughty girls get for Christmas?” He breathes, just rubbing her very outer labia. 

Jade is gnawing on her lips now; Dave has the feeling he was right about her getting herself wound up. It’s fucking precious is what it is, how excited Jade can make _herself_ trying to plan something sexy for _him_. It’s such a far cry from the early days of their relationship, when she was awkward because of the Davesprite-thing, and he was, well, Dave Strider. 

“What do we get?” She asks, her voice high and tight. 

Dave leans in and murmurs beside her ear, “Coal.” Then he retracts his hand, and lazes back on the couch with a wide smirk. 

Jade is silent for a moment; Dave looks around her as though trying to watch the film, but her reaction has got all of his attention. 

“Dave!” She shrills, stomping her foot down on the floor. “I’m needy and horny and totally _naked for you_ , plus I let you rub your icy hands on my privates which was sooo unpleasant; the least you could do is gimme some!” 

“Sorry babe, those are the rules.” He sighs dramatically. “But of course, I could make an… exception.” 

Jade is still frowning at him, but her pout is a little too over-pronounced to be genuine so he isn’t too worried. “What if I let you come on my boobs?” 

“Oh _hell fucking yeah_ ,” Dave grins. “Duh.” 

“Boys,” Jade laughs, crossing her arms over the length of her torso and gripping the hem of her sweater. She pauses, peeking over at Bec, and he’s sound asleep so she turns back to Dave and winks. She cocks her hip to a side and starts to _shimmy_ as she pulls her sweater up off her body; she’s going slow, and rotating her hips like a goddamned belly dancer; Dave’s throat is starting to get a little dry, and drier with every new inch of sun-kissed skin Jade’s exposing. She gets to her underboob, just shy of her soft pink nipples, and she pauses. Dave swears. 

“Now who’s being naughty, hm?” She laughs. Her fingers are twitching, leading him on, and Dave’s pants are getting _awfully_ tight. But to his immense relief, Jade wiggles and shimmies the rest of the way out of her wool sweater; her dark, swollen nipples draw Dave’s eyes immediately. He reaches out with his pale, cold fingers, and Jade winches at the chill but she leans into his touch nonetheless. 

Dave’s other hand moves to wrap around his girlfriend’s waist and he pulls her in close, seating her in his lap. She still has the skirt on, so perhaps it’s only his imagination, but now he can feel the heat coming off of her skin, with only the thinnest fabric between. Within the safety of his mind, he can admit to himself it’s kind of driving him wild, especially since it’s being accompanied by Jade’s little pants as he fondles her breasts. Jade buries her face in the crook of Dave’s neck and starts to kiss him, her large front teeth nicking on his skin every now and then. 

“A-ah, shit babe, that feels good,” he murmurs, sliding his hand down away from her breast and over her warm, taut belly. “Maybe I should have a word with Santa about getting you off the naughty list. A’course, that would also come with a much better gift…” 

He runs his nimble fingers along her calf, exposed by the slit in her skirt, and then further, tracing little circles in her thigh. Jade moans by his ear and nips at his jaw wantonly. 

“Use your words,” he teases softly, his voice just a murmur as he lets his fingers drift closer to her pelvis, and then quickly away again. “Tell me what you want from Santa.” 

Jade laughs, but it’s mostly masked by a moan. “T-that’s so creepy, Dave,” she responds. 

“Aw, babe, I know it totally turned you on. Don’t worry, though, this elf can keep a secret.” 

“Elf,” she sniggers, grinding her butt down by his crotch, making him shudder as she just manages to brush his erection. “I didn’t know elves were so well endowed!” 

Dave can’t help but smile, and plants a big, messy kiss on Jade’s mouth as his fingers take the plunge between her labia again. She’s wet, incredibly so, but he knows she can get even wetter so he sets about making that happen. Her clitoris is swollen and hot, hot, _hot_ to the touch of his frigid fingertips, but she doesn’t seem to mind, squirming excitedly as she rubs against it. They keep their lips locked playfully as he flicks her clit, and as she chases his hand, willing to him steady it so she can grind down on it. 

__He brings his second hand around her torso, moving Jade so that her bare back is flush against his chest. Carefully he presses the first finger, thin and long, into her vagina, relishing in the guttural moan she makes as she throws her head back onto his shoulder._ _

__“D-Dave…” she pants softly, in between biting on her lower lip. “I’m really close.”_ _

__He grunts and quickens his pace, and feels the shudder that runs through Jade’s spine as she comes, her inner walls tightening around his fingers. She puffs out a final little moan, and then peppers his cheek with a few tiny, pleased kisses._ _

__“I’m so relieved now,” she giggles, grabbing the hem of his sweater. “I’ve been aching for that _all day_.”_ _

__Jade takes his sweater off, tosses it beside them on the couch, and rubs his chest delightedly. Dave laughs, and tucks his hand beneath her chin to bring her gaze up._ _

__“I believe you promised me some tit action,” he says shamelessly because _wow_ , he probably is going to blow a load in his pants and that hasn’t happened since the second time they had sex, he’s on a roll here. He kind of can’t help himself; Jade is warm, her breasts are soft and perky, and Dave is pretty sure he’s in love. _ _

__“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget,” she winks, slinking off his lap and peeling down her skirt to make a little mat on the floor. She kneels down in a gorgeous, sexy heap between his calves and starts to fondle herself. Her breasts are a nice palmful, maybe on the smaller side but he certainly isn’t going to complain, because it’s endearing; the sun-kissed complexion and perfect teardrop shape look especially good between her fingers as she squeezes them tight._ _

__They would look even better with his dick nestled between them, and so he undoes the button of his jeans and kicks them off with his seasonal candy cane boxers in one go. Jade grins and takes a hold of his penis when it stands at attention, a hand wrapped around the base, the other just in front of it. She leans forward and gives the head a long, languid lick, collecting the little beads of precum with her tongue. Dave can’t help but work his fingers into her thick hair, caress her scalp; he doesn’t realize his eyes are closed until he opens them at the sound of her spitting._ _

__She’s spit into her palms, and is rubbing them together eagerly; Dave makes a face. “Gross, Harley. That’s why we buy lotion.”_ _

__“Bluh bluh, did you really want me to get up and walk _all_ the way up to our bedroom? Take your shades off, I wanna see your pretty eyes!”_ _

__“I think the guy is supposed to say the sappy shit, Jade,” he says as he complies, putting his shades down, folded, on top of his sweater. “Suppose I can appreciate the irony, though.”_ _

__“Shut your stupid face and appreciate _this_ ,” Jade chirps, jerking his shaft. Her tongue flicks back out over the head a few more times, but she doesn’t seem very interested in it, and to be honest neither is Dave. Especially not when she leans her torso forward and sandwiches his dick between her swollen breasts. _ _

__Dave shudders. Her body is hot, but it’s more the softness, the comfortable pressure, the _look_ of intensity on her face as she’s clutching her breasts and pleasuring him and oh _god_ she’s biting on her bottom lip a little bit and maybe she feels Dave staring because she looks up at him and smiles and oh, oh, _oh fuck_!_ _

__Dave comes on her breasts with a shuddering moan; when he recovers from his orgasm she’s grinning at him, a little of his cum on his forefinger. When Jade’s sure she has his attention, she puts her finger in her mouth with a dramatically satisfied moan and a sultry low-eyelid gaze. It’s almost enough to make him hard again, refractory periods be damned, but not quite._ _

__“Hee, Merry Christmas Eve, Dave!”_ _

__“You too, Jade,” he smiles, kissing her quickly. “Can’t wait to see what I’m getting for Christmas, after this preview.”_ _

__Jade laughs and curls herself back up in his lap, and neither of them bothers to collect their clothes as they settle in to finish their Christmas Eve movie._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Please visit me on tumblr, http://zahhaked.tumblr.com/


End file.
